Sleepless Rant

I've always wanted to do something great. Stand out from the crowd, I ended up standing out, just alone. I mean, I'm unique. Which could be a good thing but for me, it feels like a curse. I want attention. I want to be the center of someone's attention. I want to feel special and wanted. Not too much though. Because that's too much. Which makes me weird. I wanted to be successful in life, yet it seems I'm always a step behind or a dollar short. I do well, then I crash. Everything is going great for me then I screw up and everything falls apart in my life. I'm impulsive at times, and get bored easily doing mundane tasks or even in just life in general. I'm not stupid, though I feel that way sometimes. I could never focus long enough to apply myself. I do however feel like a failure at times. My mind is racing, thoughts moving so fast, my mind doesn't have time to adjust. My thoughts are endless, it begins with today and ends with tomorrow, in the middle is yesterday and pushed somewhere in there is my past. The past I can't help but regret most of it, the past I'm trying so hard to forget. I have a feeling I'll never stand out from the crowd. I'll always be this loner who'll end up failing in every aspect of life. The sad part is I'm not even depressed, I've finally figured out reality and it sucks.

Wow, you sound so much like me It's easiest just take life one day at a time. And don't feel too down, sometimes unexpected (good unexpected) things happen just when you need them to.

That's the problem I can't live one day at a time. To me that gives me nothing to live for. No purpose.

darthraven wrote:That's the problem I can't live one day at a time. To me that gives me nothing to live for. No purpose.

I understand that, it is really hard. Sometimes I feel like that, but I have to remind myself that there'll come a day when I'll have something to live for.